I Hate This Part

PART I

I am a man,
I cannot cry
But the current situation,
I cannot achieve gratification.

I couldn't control myself
I got carried away
I know I was not myself
I wish I could turn back time.

I am sorry,I truly am sorry,
I know I've made a mistake
I regret it all my life.
Now I am not trustworthy.

And now that you're gone
I miss you so much
I want to redeem my mistakes.
Give me a second chance for once.

PART II

My heart is broken
I am a walking dead body
I am shattered.
I will not trust anyone,anymore.

I considered you the only one,
You broke my beliefs,left none.
I didn't expect this from you.
I cried all because of you.

My mind wants to forgive
But my heart is ironic
I miss you too,
But our destiny has nothing to offer.

Its best to part ways
I cannot control your life
I will never love again
In all the countless coming days.

Far Away

Sitting alone sipping tea under the rain.
Achievements are unreal without Diane.
The officer was far away.
Just snapshots in his mind lay.

Daughters are part of souls,
Caring is every father's duty.
But, helpless Alex only achieves goals.
For his country,he sacrificed "beauty".

He dreams about his daughter,
Her little fingers,her touch.
Her cute smile,her tight hold.
Sleeping on his lap,fairy tales.

He can't go back home.
He has an army to command.
Merry memories were short lived.
Sorrowful igniting of wife's bones.

Alex could only hear her voice,
Craving for one sight,he lived on.
God wanted them to flourish
But not together,not their choice.

This infant makes her teddy her father,
She hugged it thinking of him.
Photo frames did help
When she was low and depressed.

Envy of other peers meeting their kin,
She could only hear his voice only once.
Classmates were her only family.
An away father had priorities.

She could only dream the reality,
Other kids enjoyed their time
While Diane put her talent to progress
She was an outstanding student every time.

Though they were excellent
In their own fields ,they were supreme.
Eternity did them apart
Which came sooner than a dream.

Diwali,again!

So, here it is Diwali again.
Luck times,but Akshay didn't gain.
He lost it all-the tearful rain!
He felt nothing but pain.

Diwali morning began in fain,
Not for long,mom was in pain.
Her heart of gold was in bane,
Every decoration was now, in vain.

Joy turned depression- a dark lane.
Akshay never dreamed of this bane.
The whole family forgot all the fain.
He was the one to blame with this disdain.
But he deceived everyone with his sane.

The horrible scenario-full of strain,
Minds went numb,they felt no pain.
The one was there,but in vain.
He was helpless but not insane.

He looked forward to the holidays and the train,
But never knew ,the passenger was in a plane.
To heaven she went tied with chain,
She was never coming back ,Akshay cried in vain.

The festival of colourful lights was now plain ,
Darkness overpowered every heart,again.
He was walking the path of rain.
The soul was seen every moment form the sad pane.

Family greetings went in vain,
He only felt Bruno's mane,
Smile never knocked the door again.
Ugly Diwali, again and again.

The Angel

This Diwali is not just another day
Its a festival of lights.In a way
It brings joy to all,but not to me,
I can only think about how things can be
I miss a human being the most this day.

He is the origin of one's growth
He is the most promising oath
To his child, he will bestow upon
Everything he possessed,until dawn,
He left us all and now in the sky
He's found ,burning bright high.

Just a memory brings tears to my eyes,
I could not even bid goodbyes.
He was angry wid me before he closed his eyes
I feel guilty in each of my sighs.

I wish i could hug him,he gulped air
For the last time,I could only dare
to bring him back,he is hsitory now.
And there is only one question in my mind,HOW?
How will I move on without his hand over my head,
But I have to, for myself and my family, thread by thread.

Evry Diwali night I sat besdie him in Worships
Now there is no one there,and my heart dips
Lower than hell can be
I know he wishes the best for me.

I will not let him down
I wil be the most succesful in town.
I will follow my heart and thats the art
Of living, to leave this all behind
And share happiness thats in the mind.

This is how I feel
Salty is my every meal
A father he was who loved me
Without him the world can never be
The same again,He is always with me
In my heart.No inspiration can help me
I stand alone in this family tree.

Can someone come and fix me?
May be an angel in my destiny
She could be my jinni.
Even without anyone, life goes on
And thats how I move on.

SIR IS GOD

It was a feeling inexplicable
Now my heart was palpable.
I could see her, it felt so right
Everything else around me was so white.

She was talking to the teacher,
I could not get my eyes off her
It was a scene so beautiful
Something happened and my mind was full
Of thoughts,Am I in love?
In the sky, it was a dove
Which flew home with me,
I don't know what she thinks about me.

Everyday I talked to her,I was her friend
Not even my friends knew I was a fiend.
I was all mad about her
I couldn't get over her.

We managed a date that Saturday
I was shy and had nothing else to say.
I proposed to her on one knee
There was only joy I could see.

I wanted the clocks to stop ticking
I wish I could stay with her,forever
"Like this",is what everyone is singing.
It was unbelievable,I had a love fever.

She had captured my mind completely
I forgot the way to the barber
I just wanted to dance with her.
I just wanna stay around her neatly.

I never missed an opportunity
To admire her everyday ,so witty.
It was so cool talking to her
I just loved to do "hun,ha"
Nothing from her mouth was blah.

I loved her voice and the class
She carried with herself,a lass.
She was pretty and smart
She indeed was a work of art.

I sought her after an year
I worked hard,just to be near.
She is my most prized possession,
Without her I could never be
What I am today,she is my obsession.

As they say this happens only once
I want her to stay,every ounce
In my body wants her to be around
Because with her love I've found.

I promise I will be with her always
Not as a beau then as a friend,says
SIR,"you are great".I will accompany her
Anywhere and everywhere,SIR
Thank you for bringing her.

A Wednesday

It was A Wednesday
I was jolly to have fun this way.
We (6th std kids) were pulling a pitchroller.
I wanted to be a great cricket bowler.

Well!my dreams were put on hold,
When I was at the back,not so bold.
My hand slipped and next was darkness.
I could hear some sighs and no harshness.

Day was becoming night,slowly.
My eyes were falling shut,slowly.
I could see myself lying on the bed.
The dispensary was full.Am I dead?

I could see white nuns everywhere.
It was an excruciating pain in the air.
My intestines were bleeding.
I could hear some peers pleading.

Half of my abdomen was covered with bandage.
A white Maruti 800 took me from boundage.
My mind was blank unless I met my mother.
The pain was undying,I restlessly laid on the stretcher.

i reached out to hold my mom's hand
She consoled me,i was not on no man's land.
I was carried by an ambulance to the city hospital.
My PTI and my mom accompanied me to the hospital.

I was told I may have a damaged spleen.
Against the wall,I could see my mom lean.
I was moaning in pain with my stomach full of blood.
i had an apple and I felt a flood.

The X-ray was unbelievable,no bones broken.
Ultra sound produced a shocking result,the doctors awakened.
After complete 11 hours of internal bleeding,
I was operated,the last thing I know that I was singing.

With the words of my college anthem,and
I closed my eyes,there was something in my hand.
For a long time i could see only darkness
Light never came in my life.Death's harshness.

The Hardest Part

I walk alone in this decent world
I am just a unique man in the herd.
I have always felt like this,always
I sigh in each one of my days.

We step in and step out alone.
I don't know where I have to go
Now the aim is vague
Now the efforts are all in vain.

In the rains now, I love walking
Coz no one knows that actually I am crying
Tears just get washed away
I walk miles from home everyday.

I look up at the sky and I believe
I am talking to God,"make me believe,
Will I be able to meet the leavers
Is my destiny ,my healers?"

When the city sleeps,I roam
Towards the end,I go away from home
I think about the past,living in my mind
I just wanna walk ahead leaving all this behind.

A mind is calm when you don't think about your kin
The moment they appear in front of you,its like a sin
The mind gets all panic and loses control
But the introvert leaves all and on the roll
He leaves once and forever
Never turning back,he is thin air.

I sacrificed my life ,passion and avocation
All for myself,I went looking for gratifaction
I was searching for peace,I travelled
A million places,I lived as a commoner
I went to worst situations,a former gooner
I did things never done before and finally I stopped.

I had aged with not a weak heart
But with weak bones and white hair
I had reached my destiny
Now I am a small wordly part.